Small Goals for a Busy Mamma

I have had to remind myself too often lately to slow down and take it all in.  I am a mamma to 3 boys, I work 2 to 3 nights a week at a children's hospital, I try to keep myself presentable, I try to make healthy meals for my family (well, I try to make meals), I try to keep my patience, all while trying to stay positive and not welcome my hubby home every night with a list of that which hit the fan that day.  In one afternoon my 3 year old managed to shatter the glass of our un-cheap credenza and pull the entire rear view mirror down from the windshield of our vehicle while I fixed the glove box he had just jammed.  How is it that on this day I managed to keep cool, collected, even patient, while just 2 short days later as I sat on my living room floor folding laundry, I completely lost it when my 3 year old knocked over my pile of towels for the 950th time?

 I have started setting little, simple goals for myself to be able to get through each day and feel that I was not only a productive housewife, but a present and patient mamma also.

1. No yelling.  Let's go ahead and add "for an entire day". Start small, right? I hate throwing mommy tantrums.  The fact that I lose my cool usually makes me feel worse than whatever frustrated me to begin with. And let's not even talk aboit the example I set for ny kids.  While raising my voice and acting a little cray gets their attention much more quickly, I certainly like myself a whole lot more when I am able to kneel down, and calmly explain why it is not ok to knock 5 pound action figures over onto their 9 month old baby brother's head. 

2. Abandon one chore to play a game with my kids.  A mamma's work is absolutely never ending.  There are never enough hours in the day to cook, clean, love, teach, AND copy that adorable fall pumpkin craft you saw on instagram. Usually on my most productive days I feel as though I failed as a parent. On these days I usually get up, rush my biggest off to school, make breakfast for my two littles, clean up breakfast, clean kitchen, start laundry, clean the 2 week old urine glaze off the base of the toilet, wash hands, make lunch, clean up lunch, lay down with boys for nap, get up after an hour of fighting boys to stay in bed and no one gets a wink of sleep, off to fetch big brother from school, home, and then it's after school snacks and dinner time hustle.  And amidst all of that, when did I play or snuggle my kids?  Floor time with my kids needs to be a priority.  The glaze can wait for me to build a cushion fort or play a round of Candyland.  It will probably wait until my hubby gets home from work too...and until whenever he gets around to cleaning it.  I don't even use that toilet.  I can just pretend it's not there.

3. Make dinner every night for a week. Heating leftovers DOES count. As does ordering pizza.  As long as the meal was sought and carried out by me, goal accomplished. My days usually start off optimistically enough.  I have an idea of what I would like to make for dinner and how the timing of the day will help make that happen, but as the day goes on little things are sacrificed. The shower is always the first to go, followed by dinner, then laundry, and so on.  Too often dinner becomes bowls of cereal, but as long as I am the one pouring the milk, dinner is served and I am the chef.

4. Do something for myself.  A mani/pedi after the kids go to bed, a mini facial before they wake up, or just a quiet moment under a cozy blanket, the latest issue of Glamour in one hand, and a pumpkin spice latte in the other are just a few examples of how I like to remember that I am a person too. But let's be real.  I usually just wind up treating myself by finally getting my weekly shower or buying something online.

5. Exercise once a day.  We walk to school. This is my gym. My only exercise. And if we leave the house too late to walk I'll park a little further from the Target entrance and call it good. 

Having a goal for the day, no matter how small helps me step back and see all the small moments that fill up our home with so much happiness and love.  My 3 children will not need me forever, and how bittersweet this is.  My Oliver is in Kindergarten and he is a constant reminder to me of how 6 years can pass without even a blink.  I know I will wake tomorrow with 3 teenaged boys, ravenous in front of the fridge, and I will long to hold a hand so small it can grasp only my finger, or to cuddle between them, read a Halloween board book and have a family nap, only to wake up with tiny limbs draped all over me.  Oh how quickly these tiny humans grow into normal sized ones.  May these goals help me basque in their youthfulness and never, ever wish for less time with them, because that day will one day come and I know I will not be ready.

#6. I will build forts everyday.

The Perfect Day Includes...

Today was simply, ordinarily perfect.  My hubby and I took our 3 boys on a nature walk in the morning and spent the afternoon in front of "It's a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" eating hamburgers we grilled in our back yard.  I love reading other mamas' blogs to remind myself that it is ok for this parenting thing to be hard.  It is ok to throw a little mommy tantrum every now and then because a good cry is more therapeutic than almost anything else I can think of.  But, every now and then a day like this comes along and I don't need to be reminded of anything.  The moment is enough.  That being said, those mommy tantrums I mentioned before, how many are we allowed to have in...say a week?  I always manage to keep it together until my hubby gets home.  My partner.  My team member.  Another adult!  I have had days when the waterworks start when I hear the garage door open, before he even makes it in the house.  But not today.  Today our boys got dirty and sweaty playing in the woods. Today we found acorns half eaten by squirrels, tunnels under our path for water to flow after rain, threw rocks, then we snuck onto a school playground.  Today we played.  Being a parent forces me notice the simple things. Things I walk over, step on, kick aside everyday become treasures. A speckled rock, an acorn top, a giant bright yellow leaf are all worth tucking away in a pocket even if only for the rest of the day.  This way the treasures are sure to be taken out later that evening, placed directly in the middle of the living room rug, grinding dirt and broken leaves into the carpet while the remaining shards of acorn pieces are spread about the house for mom and dad to step on in their bare feet or for the baby to stick in his mouth and choke on or injure himself.  Today was perfect.  A perfect, ordinary day full of messes, dirty kids, an acorn shard to the foot, and so so much love.🍁😁🍂🌾🍁🍂