I have a mildly unhealthy amount of anxiety. I am a little too concerned with other cars' speed and lane change frequency in bad weather, a little too aware of the exact date and time of the first cough I hear from any of my three sons come cold season. I'm definitely overly paranoid about my children swimming at Grandma's when I am not around because no one has googled the symptoms of dry drowning more than me. I am fully accepting of the fact that a healthy, medium-sized amount of anxiety for a mom is allowed. Encouraged even. Moms become anxious, nervous, excited, terrified, all in that moment that little plus sign appears...we be crazy. This plus sign plants a lot of fears and emotions into an otherwise healthy female. Fears of pregnancy complications, miscarriage, money, baby preparation, mercury poisening, drinking too much the weekend before Mr. Plus Sign appeared, prenatal vitamins, etc.; all while trying to remain a healthy, zen cocoon for sweet little plus sign to grow. And the baby hasn't even arrived yet. The feeling of true elation does come...but only for a moment. The moment that cry fills the hospital room and the doctor lets out a breath announcing it's time to meet your son....perfect. There is no way any woman who has has had a child can deny this was the best day of her life. The wedding day can be second best...but not best. Meeting this person you have grown and anticipated for 9 months...this will always be my "best day of my life". But, the absolute bliss only lasts for a moment...it quickly turns to wondering what he weighs, if he's healthy, if he is going to pass all of his newborn screenings. Then, is he getting enough milk while breastfeeding, is he sleeping too long between feeds? Is he peeing enough? Pooping enough? Fortunately this torture subsides marginally with each subseqent off spring, but never to disappear.
I have been known to worry myself sick...not cute. And who wants to hear a nervous rant about how "a simple cough can turn into something terrible in seconds..." every time my kid has a cold? Pretty far from cool. I have found a list of ways to bring down the axiety meter from a 10 to a 4...a 4 is all I can hope for really.
10. Cuddle it out. I love snuggling my babies. I love breathing them in after a bath (I stole that line, it made me cry the first time I read it and I love it) and feeling tiny hands' soft fingers on my arms, neck and face. Sometimes just feeling them in my arms is enough to calm my spiraling thoughts on what could go wrong today and help me remember the moment.
9. Writing. When I write these things down, not only do I find humor in it, but I am able to realize that while every word is true...it IS a bit ridiculous. I find goals...like stop being crazy.
8. Talking. Talk it out, baby. Talking to my hubby, even if it makes me a little less cool, a little less sexy, a little further from the 21 year old he first married, talk is pure therapy and he lets ne hash it out any time I need it.
7. Girl time. Chatting about anything...absolutely anything. Hell, talk to me about the last time you had a peaceful trip to the bathroom. I'd love to swap stories.
6. Getting out of the house. Whether it is a solo mission to the grocery store or a family outing to a restaurant where we are sure to attract the attention of every patron with our level of energy and decible, a new setting somehow puts life into a different perspective. It reminds me that we share this earth with tons of humans just like us with the same problems. All we can do is give a nod or a smile so we can remember we are all in this together...now shut the kid up.
5. Taking photos of my boys. Taking photographs puts something between me and my family other than my maternal anxieties. The camera turns them into art.
4. Getting moving! Going on a walk, attempting kids yoga (even if it only lasts through one pose), dance party (usually more successful than yoga).
3. Wine. Bye.
2. Magazines. The smell, the articles, the ridiculous fashion that is not even real fabric, the ads...I can truly forget I have internet access when I'm nose deep in this month's issue of Elle.
1. Date nights in front of the TV. Time with my adult counterpart who is the only human on earth who can even begin to understand my exact feelings and stressors is just what the mamma ordered. Add a little of the aforementioned beverage and voila. Problems aolved.
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